I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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