He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
