Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
