He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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