Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
so much tequila, so little girl.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
