I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
