Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
