Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
