i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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