Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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