He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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