I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
