I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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