I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
two words...techno handjob
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
