Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
