that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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