I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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