Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
