I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
