I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
