you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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