I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
