glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
