It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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