Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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