good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
