absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
