WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
