What did we do last night that was yellow?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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