I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
