with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
