hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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