I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i dont even know how to be here
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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