No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
