whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
