I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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