Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
