its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
