I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Your cock deserves a montage
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
