did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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