Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
