I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
