Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
