remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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