He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
