It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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