No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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