dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
