I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
