yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
