I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
